Children

Domestic violence can affect your child at school

Children are exposed to domestic violence when they live in a home where their primary caregiver is being abused or assaulted or where they are the direct targets of abuse.

Has your child been exposed to domestic violence?

Does your child
• Feel afraid of trying new things or meeting new people?
• Become tense or frustrated?
• Have a hard time dealing with changes in surroundings?
• Have trouble making choices?
• Act as if s/he doesn’t care about the future?
• Have trouble paying attention or following rules at home?
• Take unreasonable risks or try to test limits?
• Not trust adults?
• Have trouble making friends?
• Feel guilty and embarrassed about the violence occurring at home?
• Struggle with depression or thoughts of suicide?
• Have physical problems particularly younger children, such as insomnia, sleepwalking, nightmares, headaches, diarrhea, ulcers or asthma?
• Have trouble expressing her or himself?
• Have a hard time remembering new information yet remembers things adults find unimportant?

At school many children exposed to violence can seem to:
• Always be on the lookout for danger.
• Be unmotivated both in and out of class.
• Be a “people-pleaser” or overachiever.
• Have trouble following rules.
• Be tense and fearful at drop-off time or be afraid to go to school at all.
• Have difficulty understanding teacher’s instructions.
• Have trouble communicating his or her needs.
• Have difficulty reading, writing, or expressing himself or herself.
• Have unrealistically high expectations and become upset if he fails to achieve his goals.
• Have attention or behavior problems.
• Struggle with feelings of powerlessness that cause aggressive behavior or withdrawal.
• Challenge teacher’s authority to compensate for feelings of vulnerability or lack of self-control.
• Over-react to minor conflicts, slights, and misunderstandings.
• Be impulsive.

Some or all of these may be symptoms of trauma. These symptoms can occur even if:

• Children are not in the same room when violent episodes occur (for example, if they are in their bedrooms and overhear fighting).
• Children were very young when violent episodes occurred. These children are least able to express their suffering and have the fewest coping skills, and are more likely to develop the physical symptoms described above.
• Children are not longer in an abusive environment. Their emotional and/or behavior problems may even get worse for a while when they enter a safe environment, a phenomenon known as the “Safe Harbor Syndrome.”
• Children themselves were never physically or sexually abused.
• Children’s symptoms are not disruptive or obvious.

Adults can misunderstand these symptoms.
Many children with undiagnosed disabilities who are not exposed to domestic violence will also exhibit these behaviors. Some children exposed to domestic violence will not exhibit these behaviors.

These behaviors could be the result of trauma and/or undiagnosed disabilities:
Diagnoses such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Conduct Disorder, and Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, Major Depression, as well as reading and language disabilities can be present in children exposed to domestic violence.

Such children may be entitled to special education services that address their individual needs.

You can get help.
If your child has been exposed to any kind of violence, he or she may need services to aid his or her emotional, physical, and educational adjustment. These services are available to families at no cost.

For a list of resources in Morgan County call:
SHARE, Inc.
(970) 867-4444